End.

Why I am writing this and am going to post it I don’t really have an idea. But maybe its just because I don’t have anyone to say this to.. might as well just write it down.

You know those days when everything around you just seems to be going wrong and wrong? Yeah well, I have been having a lot of those days lately. There’s this thing I am struggling with and I can’t really talk to anyone about it.. and even if I do no one would ever fully understand me. Its like I am stuck in this big deep hole and no matter how much I try I can’t get out.. there’s no solution to it.

Whether its home or university, people are having quite a good time taking out their frustrations on me. I say I am a very short-tempered person but honestly to an extent that’s not really true.. if I was that short-tempered I would have taken some crazy action and given everyone a piece of my mind but I didn’t do that. The most I did was give an angry glare and just walked away from the situation or just stopped talking. And later all those unspoken words are let out as tears.

Someone once gave me an idea of how my future would be.. I had listened and laughed it off back then. But now I realize how to an extent that person could be right. The person told me that in future I would just end up alone always trying to make people around me happy. Since, I don’t want to get married so I wouldn’t have a partner and of course no kids. I have no siblings and my cousins with whom I am kind of close to right now would all be busy with their lives. Likewise my friends would be busy with their lives. I on the other hand will be a care-free person cause I won’t have anyone to answer to or look after. And thus, I’ll live lonely. All these words.. now make sense to me.

Maybe those forever alone memes would actually be named after me.. who knows? Anything is possible. Its so funny that I keep advising people to look at the bright side of life and always think positive.. but I myself never imply those words personally.

I was very much used to people ignoring me but now that has increased more than usual. Ah! Have to just get used to this as well. I’ve always been good at adjusting. I think I have a problem of giving some people so much attention which they don’t appreciate and obviously don’t deserve.. really need to stop doing that.

I get these weird thoughts now-a-days like what would it be like if I would have turned out to be this really bad-ass person. How it would have changed my image? Well I would get a lot of shit and judgmental comments but then again don’t I get them now too! What did I ever gain from being two goody feet? Oh I had bad company.. really bad not many people know the depths of how bad it was but I always made sure I never got involved with them so that I wouldn’t have to give anyone especially my mom the chance to question my character.

I am happy with the person I turned out to be though.. not many appreciate of it but then again have to live with it.

Newzfeaturez

They say in the glamorous world of Bollywood that “Nothing succeed like success” and this is what exactly has happened to Bollywood actor Emraan Hashmi in the last year or so. With a string of successful movies starting from Once Upon a Time in Mumbai to the recent Jannat 2 within the past year success has surely has brought him to the attention of some of Bollywood’s big producers including Karan Johar.

This sudden transition of Hashmi in the past year has certainly not been an easy ride and it has taken lots of hard work and some good career choices to turn the tide in his favour. Critics can argue that Hashmi is certainly lucky to have uncles like producers brothers Mahesh and Mukesh Bhatt but, it eventually boils to the “X” factor in Hashmi that has brought him success. When asked about Hashmi’s success uncle Mahesh Bhatt says…

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So true!

Fictionalism

**This blog post was Freshly Pressed in May 2012. Thank you WordPress and faithful readers!**

What’s the best thing about summer?

Most people would answer differently than I would. Don’t get me wrong, I like sunshine and warmth; I love being able to drive with my windows down; I LOVE getting my hopes up about camping and then not going because I have no one to go with; I love BBQs and being able to wear neon without attracting strange looks; I love bargaining with my father––if he picks up the dog poo and mows the lawn, I’ll buy him some ice-cream.

No, my favorite thing is being able to read. I know what you’re thinking. You can read any day of the year! No, not exactly. During the summer, I can kick my textbooks under my bed (I really did that. Damn you, Adelante Dos) and pick up…

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She is God’s gift to me.

I was 3 when my parents got divorced. I have never told this to anyone but yes I clearly remember the day they split up and what happened. I was too young to understand it then though.

My mom took my custody and I lived with her. Once in a month or so, my so called father used to come see me. Later on, I started seeing less of him and then finally he never really showed up. I still remember how he used to call me up during weekends and promise to come pick me up to stay a night over at his place, I used to pack up all my stuff and wait for him.. until it was midnight and fall asleep crying. This went on for once or twice and then I realized he would never show up.

My mom never said anything against him to me. I used to see her cry alone in the room over the phone or while talking to my aunt or someone, and I would run and give her a hug so that she would feel better.

My mom worked two jobs, I would see her to half an hour in the morning before school and then for an hour after she returned from her morning job to return to the next one. My mom never gave up hope, even with everything she has gone through she never broke down and till date she is a very strong woman.
Staying alone at home has never really been a problem for me, have been doing it since 4. My mom had to push me inside while I stood at the door crying, screaming at her not to leave me but she had to.. she would burst into tears but somehow just walk away as she had to get to her workplace. And so eventually I got used to staying alone.

It is a fact that whenever I have asked for something I always got it.. sooner or later. My mom provided me with all the necessities and luxuries I could ever ask for. I have never felt the need for a father because for me she is my father and she is my mother. She single-handedly managed everything and overcame all the obstacles in life. 

My mom never takes tension for small thing and when asked why she says ‘ I have dealt and overcome bigger problems in life. If Allah has helped me till now, he will help me and guide me even now. I have trust in him and so that’s why small things or even big things don’t bother me.’ I wish I could be atleast like 50% like my mom. She gave up her life for me so that I could have a better life and I never face anything problems in life. I may not be the best daughter but I can proudly say I have the best mother.

She has always put my needs and wants first and then maybe thought about what she wants. Another thing I adore about her is her patience, she has a alot of patience. She tolerates things that I don’t think many people in her place including myself could withstand. She never complains or fusses about anything.

My mom has always been more of a friend to me. Always joking around, making fun of each other and discussing random stuff which doesn’t make sense to people. No matter how tired she is or how boring my story is she always listens to me. She’s always been cool with who I am and how I act. She lets me dress how I want to besides the fact the people around her keep telling her not to let me. I have always done everything I wanted under her permission. 

There have been moments where I did things without her knowledge or supervision but the second I realized they were wrong and how hurt she would be.. I let go of them then and there.

Whatever I am today, whatever I have achieved…I owe to my mom. She has taught me well. I love her more than anyone in this world and InshaAllah I will live up to her expectations and make her twice as happy as she made me if that’s possible. 

Inspiration from The Alchemist

One of the best books I have read in my entire lifetime. It gives you hope that nothing is impossible and that you should always follow your dreams.

ShiningSoulYoga

If you haven’t already done so, The Alchemist by

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Pretty little liars taught me..

Can’t wait for Season 3.

“Everything that happen…

“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

A is back!

Can’t wait for it!

Well done.